5 Ways to Create Hustle AND Flow Harmony: at work, home and everywhere.

Finding our Flow at work and home can prove to be quite a challenge. Some people call this “work/life balance” or just “finding balance.” Whether it’s work outside the home or philanthropic work or the work of running a home or any type of work you are involved in, the stress of managing a modern life, especially in midlife, can cause us to feel stretched very, very thin.

Well, I have a newsflash for you: you are not running the world on your own. You are not running anything alone. Although it may feel like it, A LOT. This is overflowing “hustle” mode which happens when we are so focused on the doing part of our lives, we forget to slow down and relax. 

When we truly understand other people can, in fact, do things (both at home and work) we can create space to be more relaxed at any given moment. Relaxation is what expands our access to confidence, communication, and pleasure.

So what does incorporating our relaxed, receiving, creative energy into productive taskmaster mode look like?

First, I’d like to touch on what it doesn’t look like.

It is NOT being a prettier version of a man.

It is NOT being forceful or brash.

It is NOT operating in over-stimulated HUSTLE mode, full of tension with the push and shortness that comes with it.

It is NOT making yourself smaller to not get in the way, or make ripples.

It is NOT putting yourself last or not making your voice heard because you don’t want to upset the system.

It DOES look like being Powerful, Embodied, Radiant, and Relaxed. I call it PERR (sounds like purrrrrrrrrr 😉 ).

Here are 5 key elements to create harmony between HUSTLE + FLOW in your real-life and create PERR in your days:

1. Know what you want. Have a vision. We (meaning all people really) often operate by the happening of life around us. We don’t have a clear direction of where we want to go. Sometimes we’ll get stuck in this phase because we might have an idea but we don’t exactly know HOW we’ll get there. I am VERY familiar with this place. But if we get clear on WHAT we want and take small actions in the direction of what we want, the HOW will appear. 

It’s learning to trust our instincts, our intuition and this takes creating space in ourselves to be able to connect and hear what OUR wisdom has to say. And once we know what we want, ask for it. Use your voice coming from the calm, focused, relaxed place you now know how to create within yourself. Knowing you can handle whatever happens on the other side of that ask.

2. Creating agreements is a powerful way to conduct yourself in all areas of life, both personally and professionally. We often operate from assumptions and expectations which can cause stress, tension, and disappointment. There's no clarity there. Agreements are co-created, meaning you and I agree on our roles, what will be done, how it will be done, and EXACTLY by when. If the agreement can’t be kept, we let each other know immediately and offer a solution as to what can be done. We can then recreate another agreement together. 

“Hey, can you get me that report?” then getting pissed your teammate can’t read your mind because you meant you really wanted that report in an hour is much different than, “Hi. The report on XYZ is due on Friday. Can we create an agreement for you to have ABC portion with 123 complete to me by email, tomorrow by 5:00 pm?” The other person says yes, or no that’s not possible and you keep negotiating until you come to an agreement you both can commit to. This isn’t micromanaging, this is clarity. If there is a relationship of the agreement there, you can now relax and not micromanage the situation because you can trust that the thing will get done or you’ll know differently and be able to recreate another agreement. This is infusing FLOW into the structure of HUSTLE. This also works very well at home.

3. Clear, specific, honest communication. This is where the Wild operates best. How many times have things gone haywire because of a lack of clear communication? Knowing that you can create agreements, and having the trust in your wildish self to guide you, you can get to a place of being able to say anything, to anyone at any time. With LOVE. And not be worried about the outcome. Of course, you could be thinking about the outcome, but you aren’t consumed by it. And the easiest way to avoid all kinds of pain and strife is by being acutely clear and specific in our communications upfront, so there are fewer questions later and we get away from assumptions and expectations. 

I see this so much in my work with clients. We get angry or disappointed with someone or a situation when all that was missing was specificity in our language. If you don’t understand something clearly, ask questions. Don’t worry about what it looks like.

4. Setting boundaries. Let your people know what they can expect from you and what they can’t. It could sound something like this, “I don’t respond to emails after 7:00 pm because I am with my family. IF there is a REAL meltdown, you may text me.” Or if someone sends you communication that doesn’t need a response right away, you don’t have to respond right away. Or, you can let them know it was received and when they can expect a response from you. Clear, specific communication. 

If you think your position doesn’t allow for this type of space, I would invite you to try it. Get clear on what is important to you, your vision, and ask for it. If you come from a focused, relaxed nature, you might be surprised. 

5. Conservation of energy. Only use what you need to use at that moment. Learn how to conserve energy so you have something left for yourself, and maybe even your partner and sex life, at the end of the day. Taking breaks throughout your day to recenter yourself. Breathe. Move. Lie down for 2 minutes and completely relax. Another tool is to take 20-60 second breaks between tasks. For example, instead of jumping from email to typing a report to doing research and having all of that going at once, create space in between tasks. The brain actually doesn’t multitask well. It toggles between tasks and can get overloaded. Even you high performers. 

Creating a small space to close your eyes and center yourself between tasks helps to give you micro reboots of energy. It’s crucial to take care of your body, your higher Self, and your nervous system. Being on tilt will only exhaust you and ultimately you won’t “produce” more.

Using all of the tools I just described, plus the embodiment practices I use with my clients and women’s groups, creates a powerful, embodied, radiant and relaxed way of being. It creates confidence. 

Contrary to popular belief, confidence is not necessarily something we are born with. It is created. It can be practiced and mastered.

Being able to flow seamlessly between HUSTLE and FLOW will allow you to walk into any room and have your presence change the energy in that space.

It’s not arrogance, it’s authentic, intuitive, wise feminine power. 

It’s being turned ON.