Leadership, Power, Relationships October 25, 2017

Where leadership matters most.

Photo by Kevin Delvecchio  on Unsplash

We always have an opportunity to lead. To be a leader. To demonstrate leadership.

Whether within a family, a business, a friendship or any environment where there are people in relationship, we can lead powerfully with grace. This is our gift. We can even lead ourselves through self-leadership.

Sometimes we don’t always see a specific situation as a chance to lead. It may be so close to us, so personal, so triggering, that we feel like we are in the quicksand of the thing. It can feel as if there is no way out, or, so many choices we get stuck in the muck, afraid to make the wrong decision. Or we just flat out don’t know what to do.

Note: there is a huge, gigantic difference between control and leadership. Control is NOT leadership. Control comes from ego, from fear, from the needs of the “I.” Leadership comes from love, from service to the greater good, from the “we.”

(Purposely switching pronouns…)

This is when it is extremely important to be awake and have awareness of yourself. Any reaction you are having has everything to do with you. This is a perfect opportunity to look within, with wonder and curiosity, to make a shift and become the leader you are.

With grit, but in service of grace.

See yourself as a leader. See yourself not IN the quicksand with the person or circumstance, but standing on the edge, on solid ground, with many tools at your side to lead out of the situation. See from a place of objectivity of what is happening, without judgment. Keep breathing. Neutrality is the place to come from.

There could be an immediate resolution, or it may take time. Patience and stamina are required.

Some questions to ponder as you’re standing on solid ground:

  • Who am I being right now? Is this serving this situation/person?
  • What’s it like in there (in the quicksand), for them?
  • What must I be thinking in order to feel what I’m feeling? (This question may need to be asked several times to get to the core of what’s happening.)
  • Am I acting/reacting with force, frustration and/or fear? Is it working? What else could work?
  • How can I see this differently?

Leaders who operate with

Love          Grace           Commitment

Action        Power          Clarity

Intention    Presence     Humility

Humanity   Patience      Listening


Are precisely what our world needs.

These elements are naturally present in all women.  We just need to put down all of the old expectations and stereotypes and struggles and judgments and what the world has told us we are, and create a new way. A way that merges the best of the feminine and the best of the masculine.

“Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart.” — Brené Brown

Without highly visible role models of what this looks like (they do exist…) we must step into our power and BE what we seek.

Where we start is right in front of us.

With the people who matter most.