Lifestyle, Relationships August 16, 2017

What if love isn’t the answer?

Photo by Jez Timms  on Unsplash

In the movie Contact, starring Jodie Foster and Matthew McMcConaughey, the two main characters have an ongoing science vs. faith conversation. Foster, being the scientist, only believes that which can be proven. McConaughey, a minister, understands her point of view, and also leaves room for the mysteries of life and a foundation of faith.

During one particular discussion, Foster referenced her father, who died when she was just a girl and she expressed how much she had loved him.

In the midst of their science vs. faith battle, McConaughey poses the question to Foster, “Did you love your father?” He repeats this a couple of more times to her as she stares back at him confused.

She replies with a quizzical look, “Of course. Very much.”  In which McConaughey responds…

“prove it.”


When I was a young girl, I would often ask my mom who she loved most in the world. And she always said me. As a mother myself, I completely understand her answer. But at the time, I didn’t get it.

I would ask her if she loved me more than her own mother. More than my dad (they were still married at that time.) More than her sister. More than her best friend. She always said yes. I asked if she loved her mom more than my dad. My dad more than her mom. One sister over the other. When I asked why and how (which I did quite often) she would say…

“it’s different.”

Back then, I thought that meant there were different kinds of love for the different people in our lives. And I was a prove it girl. I wanted to see it, touch it, feel it, smell it.

Now, I don’t experience love as different. Or maybe my 6-year-old brain couldn’t put the pieces together and now I understand what my (brilliant and highly intuitive) mother was saying…Love is One. It is Unified. There is only one True Love…the space between, the great field of possibility. I love my kids, my husband, my parents, my friends, my friends’ kids, my dog. It’s all the same Love, just expressed ‑ accessed in unique ways, specific to the giver and receiver.

What if love isn’t an answer, but an eternal question?

Where is love? What is love? Is it chemical? Emotional? Physical? Mental? How does it happen? Does it die? Does it always exist or can it be created? Can it be proven? 

My experience looks like this, and I encourage you to explore this question for yourself. It’s in entering the question, where you find access to something…well, possibly something magical.


All people, at their deepest truth, are inherently good and have an equal ability for creation. At the center of a human being is Love.

*There is also an awareness that a human being can be so asleep they take action out of a completely opposing place.

Love being the unexplainable feeling of connection to everything and everyone, without separation, for which there is no language. It is not a feeling but a way of Being. It is The Center. The Core. The Soul and/or Spirit. And, in a human being, it commonly presents itself as a feeling. It is felt in a spontaneous moment of presence when the world falls away and the only thing that exists is you and another. Or you and an activity. Or you and what it is that brings You forth into life.

It can be in the observation of children. A place of deep relating to another person. Uncontrollable laughter. The way your pet looks at you and doesn’t look away and the only thing there is unconditional love.

It can be sitting in a forest, listening to nature’s symphony play its original score — without thought or instruction or resistance — all the creatures and leaves playing together through Being what they are.

Dancing, moving your body without inhibition or thought as to what it looks like or if you’re doing it right. There is no right or wrong in a human body moving freely to the beat of its own truth. Every step, twist, shake, turn and bend is beautiful.

Being with someone in a way that both of you become so present, so engaged in a conversation (no matter the topic) that the language falls to the background and the feeling of connection becomes the means of communication.

There are an infinite number of ways to be Love, to be in(side) Love. It is always present. It is always available. It is in everyone. It is a field to access, an ability, not a solid thing to be given or received or taken away.

Love is a place to come from.

Not a theory to prove.

all my love,